You're not alone
by Mien84
Summary: What if something happens to Addison that forces Noah to make a decision? Addie/Noah
1. Chapter 1

This came to my mind the other day. Really dramatic. Hope you like it though :) Let me know what you think.

* * *

He was married. For heavens sake, his wife was her patient and she was supposed to deliver his baby.

Addison was sitting behind her desk, these thoughts literally gave her stomach pains. She couldn't do it. She just couldn't.

Addison stood up and walked out of her office to talk to Dell. He wanted to get more involved with patients, this was his chance.

On her way to his office she passed by the kitchen where Naomi and Cooper just had lunch. Both not really in the mood to go out for lunch.

Addison got some tab water and sat down across from them.

"Hey Addie, you want some?"

Naomi passed her her plate with pasta.

Addison held up her hand.

"No thanks. I'm not hungry."

Naomi gave Cooper a look. They both had noticed that Addison had lost a lot of weight in the last weeks. The whole practice had noticed. Violet had even tried to talk to her about it but was just snapped at. Naomi personally blamed Noah for it. He broke her best friend. Piece by piece.

Addison stood up and walked towards Dell's office.

Dell was sitting behind his desk talking to someone on the phone.

"You know what? Fine! Then you will hear from my layer."

He slammed the phone down and looked up.

"Hey Dell, are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just ... yes, I'm fine."

Addison walked in and sat down.

Dell looked at her.

"Are _you _okay?"

"Yes, why?"

"I don't know. You have the same white color as the wall behind you."

"No. I'm good. Why I'm here. Can you take over Morgan as a patient?"

"Why?"

"Can you do it or not?"

Dell was taken aback by the anger in Addison's voice.

"Yeah, sure."

He nodded.

"Thanks."

With this Addison stood up and left his office.

Dell just shook his head.

"Oh man."

XxX

_He kissed her neck and pushed her top from her shoulders. Addison felt her pulse quicken. The next moment she felt his hand beneath her top, trying to open her bra. He pushed her down on the bed and placed his left leg between hers. Addison wriggled under his touch. Noah's mouth found hers and his tongue parted her lips_

Addison awoke abruptly. Her heart was racing and she was gasping for air.

"Oh God."

She let herself fall back into her pillow.

"I really need to learn to keep my dreams under control."

Addison sat up when all of a sudden a pain shot through her lower stomach. She had had stomach pains for a while now but blamed it on the stress. Emotional and physical. It only lasted for some seconds and Addison didn't worry about it.

She went into the bathroom and took a hot shower. Not feeling like having breakfast Addison left straight for the practice.

After half an hour of sorting papers out and keeping her mind occupied so she didn't have to thing of Noah, Dell rushed into her office.

"Addison? Laura Martens is here. She's in labor."

Addison looked up.

"Okay Dell. Bring her into the birthing suite and get everything ready. I will be there in a few minutes."

Addison usually trusted Dell to deliver a baby by himself but Laura Martens had had some complications during her pregnancy and Addison wanted to make sure everything went smoothly.

Two hours later baby girl Martens was born. Without complications and health.

Addison was exhausted and went back into her office, her next patient would be there soon.

As soon as she sat down the door opened and Noah walked in.

"What are you doing here?"

"Addison I need to tell you something."

"No. Please leave. I can't do this. I know the feeling when your own husband is loosing all interest in you. It's horrible. It hurts. I don't want to be the reason this happens to another woman. I can't. Please leave."

Addison could see the pain and guilt in Noah's eyes when he turned around and left her office.

Addison let her head drop into her hands and cried. Why was it so hard to do the right thing?

She leaned down to her drawers to get a paper tissue when the stabbing pain in her stomach was back. This time it didn't pass after a few seconds. Instead it got worse. Addison stood up and held herself up on the desk. She walked over to the door when the pain got worse again and made her double over. Her knees hit the ground and she was glad her hands supported her so that she wouldn't hit the ground completely.

XxX

Pete overheard a talk between Dell and one of Addison's patients.

"My appointment was 20 minutes ago. I have to get back to work."

"Okay, I will just see if Doctor Montgomery is ready for you."

Dell tried to calm her down.

Pete stepped in.

"I will check on her."

Dell nodded and mouthed a "Thanks".

Pete wandered off to Addison's office. He looked inside from a distance and couldn't see her. He was about to check the kitchen when he heard a noise coming from the office that sounded like someone was calling for help. He went closer and looked through the blinds. What he saw made him gasped. Addison was kneeling on the floor in a pool of blood. He rushed into her office and yelled for Dell at the same time.

"Addison? Oh my God. What's wrong?"

"It hurts." Addison could barely talk.

She was supporting herself with one hand, the other hand was clutching her lower stomach.

Pete scooped her up into his arms and carried her into one of the exam rooms. On his way there he ran into Dell.

"Get Naomi."

A shocked Dell did as he was told.

A short time later Naomi rushed into the exam room followed by Dell. She looked at Addison who looked like she was loosing consciousness every minute, due to the pain or the blood loss Naomi couldn't tell.

"She's having stabbing pains in her lower stomach for a while already." Pete explained.

Naomi just nodded.

"Get me the ultrasound."

Dell rolled the machine over to her.

"And Dell? Call 911."

Dell nodded and left the room.

Naomi placed the wand onto Addison's stomach.

Pete was standing by Addison's side unsure what to do.

"Oh my God." Naomi gasped after a while.

"What is it?" Addison's voice was low.

Naomi looked at Pete who was now also starring at the monitor.

Naomi took a deep breath.

"It's a tumor. On your right ovary."

"No." Addison whispered.

In the meantime the ambulance had arrived.

Addison saw her friends standing in the foyer, reassuring her that everything would be alright when she was wheeled into the elevator and brought to St. Ambrose.

XxX

Naomi arrived at St. Ambrose a few minutes later and went straight to the nurses station to ask for Addison Forbes Montgomery who was admitted earlier. She didn't notice a certain heart surgeon standing behind her.

"Addison was admitted? What happened?"

Naomi turned around.

"I personally think that's none of your business."

She took a deep breath.

"But ... Addie needs you right now. ... We found a tumor on her right ovary."

Naomi could see how Noah's expression changed from worry to panic.

"Is is cancer?"

Naomi shrugged.

"We don't know yet. ... She was in a lot of pain."

"Where's she now?"

"Room 216."

Noah turned.

"Noah?"

"Mmh?"

"She needs you."

"I know."

"Don't break her."

"I won't. I love her."

Naomi could see that he truly felt this way.

XxX

Addison lay in her hospital bed. Her eyes were closed when she heard someone enter her room and approach the bed. Her hand was taken into their's.

"Hey."

She didn't feel like fighting her feelings anymore. Not now. Not if she might be dying.

"This is the punishment for what we are doing." She opened her eyes.

"Don't say something like that." Noah squeezed her hand tighter.

Addison closed her eyes again, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What if it's ...?"

"We don't know that yet."

"But what if?"

"Then you will fight it, Addison."  
"It's just not so easy when you're ... alone."

Noah lay down in the bed beside her and took her into his arms.

"You're not alone."

* * *

And here the real Addie/ Noah story begins ;)


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the next chapter, where Noah makes an important decision. It's a little fluffy :) Enjoy!

* * *

When Addison woke up the next morning Noah was still sitting on her bedside.

"Hey." Addison stirred.

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

He caressed her cheek and pushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"Still tired."

"Any pain?"

He asked concerned.

Addison wriggled her head.

"A little. Drugs are working though."

The door opened and Dr. Brown walked it.

He was one of he best on the west coast, behind Addison of course. He wasn't working in LA but in San Diego but Naomi had done everything to get him here and operate on Addison.

"Dr. Montgomery."

He shook her hand.

"Dr. Brown."

Addison nodded at him.

"You're having a big day ahead of you. Do you have any more questions concerning the procedure?"

Addison gave a weak smile.

"Thanks. But I have performed this kind of surgery several times myself. So, no I don't."

"Okay then, the nurses will get you in about 15 minutes and prepare you for the surgery."

Addison nodded, unable to say anything more.

After Dr. Brown had left the room Addison stared at the ceiling, tears pooling in her eyes.

"You know, I always wanted a baby. I actually came to LA for it but my chances to get pregnant are not very high. This surgery is reducing them even more."

Noah squeezed her hand and made her look at him.

"Don't think about this right now, Addison. The surgery will be successful and then you still have a chance."

Addison nodded at him, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I'm scared."

Noah bent over to her and hugged her.

"I know. It's gonna be alright."

A few minutes later two nurses entered the room and brought Addison into the OR.

XxX

The next two hours, Dr. Noah Barnes walked up and down the hallway in front of the OR. He was a physician, he believed in science, in knowledge, in skills. But today ... today he prayed. He prayed for the surgery to be successful and that it wasn't cancer. He prayed for the love of his life to survive. Addison just had to be alright.

And he forgot one important thing before she was wheeled into the OR. He forgot to tell her that he loved her.

XxX

Addison woke up a few minutes after she was brought into a room in the ICU. Just a precaution because the doctors wanted to monitor her for the next 24 hours. Usually Noah wouldn't be allowed here, good thing he was a doctor in this hospital.

Noah walked into the room and it broke his heart to see Addison like this. She looked so pale and fragile.

Addison blinked with her eyes and tried to stay awake, the anesthesia not fully worn off, yet. Noah walked to her side and took her hand which still had an IV needle in it.

"How are you feeling?"

Addison swallowed.

"Tired ... little sore."

She closed her eyes again for a while.

"Have you heard anything, yet?"

Addison turned her head and looked at Noah.

"No."

He whispered and shook his head.

At this moment the door opened and Dr. Brown walked in with Addison's chart in his hands.

He smiled at her.

"The surgery was successful so far."

Noah looked up, alarmed.

"So far?"

Dr. Brown nodded.

"We could remove most of it without taking out the ovary. We sent it down to pathology and should get the results back in two days."

"Two days?"

Noah exclaimed.

"And if you find cancerous cells you have to go back in and remove the ovary as well."

Addison stated matter-of- factly.

Dr. Brown nodded.

"And we would have to run some more tests to see if it already spread. But let's all hope that that's not the case."

Addison nodded.

"Thank you."

Dr. Brown gave her a weak smile and left the room.

Addison turned to Noah and squeezed his hand.

"You should go home to Morgan."

"She's with her brother, they don't see each other that often."

Addison sighed.

Noah looked at her and understood.

"You want to be alone?"

Addison nodded.

"Don't get me wrong, I love you being here. But that doesn't change the fact that you're married. I'm tired Noah and ... I need some time to think."

Noah stood up and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Okay but ... can I come back later?"

Addison nodded and Noah could see in her eyes how much she wanted him here.

He opened the door and turned around again to give her a smile. A smile that sent goosebumps over Addison's skin.

Then he left her room.

XxX

The rest of the day went by uneventful. Naomi came to visit her friend and stayed for some hours to cheer Addison up. The others came as soon as the practice had closed for the day to check on her and brought some flowers, which had be stored with the nurses because they were not allowed in the ICU. Doctors! They only stayed for half an hour and took Naomi with them when they left. Addison was glad when everyone was gone because quite frankly Naomi was not good in cheering up but only annoying.

After a while the door opened and Noah entered with a single red rose in his hand. Addison wondered how he got it past the nurses.

He walked over to her and handed Addison the rose.

"Remember how I told you you are not alone, yesterday?"

Addison swallowed and nodded.

"I meant it. I will be here for you no matter what. I will be by your side and make sure you're okay."

Addison just stared at him, unable to say anything.

"I love you., Addison. I love you so much that it gives me physical pain to see you here. In this bed, hurting and scared. I don't want to loose you. I need you."

Addison gave up on suppressing the tears and just let them roll down her face.

"What about Morgan?"

She whispered.

Noah sat down on her bed and took her hand.

"I left her."

"No."

Addison was torn between two feelings right now. She was unbelievably happy and pictured the two of them together, how happy they could be. But she also felt this huge lump of guilt in her throat.

"But she needs you, Noah."

"So do you."

Addison new he was right. She did need him.

"What about the baby? Your child?"

Addison felt a shiver going down her spine when she saw the sadness in Noah's eyes.

"We'll figure something out."

"Don't do this."

"What?"

"Don't choose me over your child, Noah."

"I can't not choose you, Addison. And I won't give up my child. But for now you are all that matters."

* * *

Next chapter: How serious is Addison's condition? And will Noah regret leavin his wife?

Please review :)


	3. Chapter 3

So, here's chapter 3. Sorry you had to wait for it for so long. I'm pretty busy with work right now and will have even more to do in the future. But I hope I can update one story each weekend. Can't promise anything though. Hope you like this chapter and please leave me a review :)

Enjoy!

* * *

The next day Addison was brought into a usual hospital room and now also allowed to leave the bed. She still felt a little sore and weak when Noah brought a wheelchair to get her out into the garden.

"I'm not going to sit in _this_."

Addison was now sitting on the edge of her bed and pointing at the wheelchair.

"Addison." Noah rolled his eyes.

"No way. What are my patients supposed to think when they see me in it?"

Addison shook her head vehemently.

"Fine. Then you stay up here in this room while I go outside and sit on a bench in the sun."

Noah teased her.

"You know there's no other way for you to get out of here."

Addison pouted, than looked up with a grin.

"Well... you could carry me."  
"Oh, and that makes it better?"

"For me it does."

Addison grinned at him.

Noah smiled and scooped her up into his arms. Addison let her head fall against his neck.

"Mhh... you smell good."

Noah frowned and smiled.

"Thanks."

"I'm glad I changed into my sweatpants and a shirt." Addison giggled.

"This would have looked pretty ridiculous in a hospital gown."

"Ha... I didn't really think of that. Would have been a little more disturbing for your patients than the wheelchair."

Addison slapped him on the chest with her left hand.

"Shush."

Downstairs in the garden they sat down on a bench. Across from them stood a big old tree and on a closer look Addison could see a squirrel running up and down the branches.

"You know, it's so scary how one single day can change the rest of you life. I never had that. You start valuing things differently and see them in another light. See the little squirrel there? I never took time to enjoy the little things."

Noah took her hand into both of his.

"You're going to be okay, Addison."

Addison nodded and turned her head to face him. Noah saw the tears pooling in her eyes and pulled her closer. Addison let him take her into his arms and let the tears roll down her cheeks.

XxX

They had stayed like this for hours when Addison lifted her head and looked at Noah.

"Thanks for taking me out here. Took my mind off things for a while."

He pulled a strand of hair out of her face.

"Did it really?"

Addison nodded.

"Yeah, somehow you're the only one who can convince me that everything will be alright. I believe you. And when you hold me I feel save, like nothing can harm me."

Noah looked at her and saw the sincerity in her eyes. He took her face in his hands, leaned closer and kissed her.

"I love you."

Addison was about to respond when a nurse came up to them.

"Here you are Dr. Montgomery. We have been looking for you all over the hospital. Dr. Brown is ready for you."

Noah could feel Addison shiver in his arms when she swallowed hard.

"Okay, we'll be right up."

The nurse nodded and left.

Noah felt his own heartbeat quicken when he lifted Addison up again. This just had to be good news.

XxX

When they arrived in Addison's hospital room, Dr. Brown was already waiting. He had his back turned to them and looked out of the window. Noah let Addison down on the bed and sat down next to her holding her hand tight.

Dr. Brown turned with a serious look on his face. He took a deep breath.

"We got your results back."

Addison could feel her heart thumping in her throat. She felt Noah squeezing her hand even more and when she looked at him she could see the anxiety written all over his body.

When she turned back to look at Dr. Brown Addison could see a little smile spreading over his face.

"The results came back good. No cancerous cells."

Addison let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes and looked over to Noah who took deep breaths to prevent his own tears from falling.

Noah pulled her close and soothed her back. Now Addison couldn't hold back the tears any longer. This scene had been replayed many times in the last days but this time would be the last for a while. This time they were holding each other out of relief and not fear. This time the tears were happy tears.

XxX

The next day Addison was released from the hospital. Noah picked her up and drove her home. All the time both of them had a smile on their faces.

"You know what? This is the new beginning of my life." Addison stated.

"From now on I will enjoy every little thing of it. How the air smells in spring, the beach in summer even when I thought the crashing waves are an annoying side effect of living here. I will enjoy sitting on the deck and just staring at the horizon and a lot more."

Noah put his right hand onto her knee.

"And all the time I will be with you."

He turned his head for a second and smiled at her.

Addison put her hand on top of his.

"And I will enjoy every second I get to spend with you."

When they arrived at Addison's house Sam and Naomi were already waiting in the driveway. Noah walked around the car and opened the door for Addison. He helped her to get out of the car and as soon as she was standing Naomi came up with wide open arms.

"You have no idea how relieved I am."

She pulled Addison into a hug. When she pulled back Addison could see tears glistening in her eyes.

"Don't ever scare me again like this."

While Naomi turned away to control her emotions Sam came closer and hugged Addison.

"I'm really glad you're okay."

Addison smiled at him.

"Thanks. Me too."

Sam nodded.

"Alright, you need to get some rest. So we just leave you two alone. But call if you need us, okay?"

Addison gave him a grateful look.

"I will, thanks."  
Noah brought Addison inside and helped her with the stairs. Upstairs, he helped her to lay down on the bed and spread the covers over her. As soon as Addison was settled he crawled into bed next to her. Noah could feel Addison snuggle closer to him as he took her into his arms. Soon the exhaustion from the last days took over and both of them were asleep within seconds.


	4. Chapter 4

Next chapter! I'm looking for my muse right now. Somehow it left ;) Hope you like this capter anyways. Please leave me a review.

* * *

When Addison awoke the next morning, she found the other half of the bed empty. Her heart clenched and she looked around the room to find Noah's clothes still placed on a chair. Relief washed over her. So he was still here.

The next moment the door to the bedroom swung open and Noah entered. He was only wearing his boxers and held a tray in front of his bare chest.

Addison giggled.

"All you need now is a bow tie and you would look like a Chippendale."

Noah smiled at her.

"You got one?"  
He walked over to the bed and placed the tray on top of the covers. Only now did Addison see a single red rose lying across the tray. Noah crawled onto the bed and placed the tray between them. He then leaned over to Addison and kissed her.

"Good morning."

"Mmh...good morning."

Addison mumbled against his lips.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Still a little sore when I move."

Noah nodded.

"Okay, so not too much moving for you today."

Addison frowned.

"Wait. Do you have anything planned?"

Noah shook his head.

"No. First we're having breakfast and then we'll see what the day brings. I took the day off, though. That's the only thing I have planned."

"Sounds good so far."

Addison smiled at him.

Noah took a strawberry and brought it up to Addison's mouth.

"I'm not an invalid, you know? I can eat on my own."

"Sure."  
Noah responded matter-of-factly.

Then a smile spread over his face.

"But it's way more fun this way."

Addison shook her head.

"I didn't know you were such a romantic, Doctor Barnes."

"Well, there's a lot you don't know about me, Doctor Montgomery."

Addison opened her mouth and let Noah place the strawberry on her tongue. He then leaned closer and kissed her once again.

"Mhh ... strawberry tastes really good."

XxX

After the sweet and romantic start into the day Noah and Addison spent the afternoon on the deck. Addison lay in a chair and looked out on the water where the waves gave a calming rhythm when they crashed against the beach.

"Noah,we have to talk about this." Her voice was low but strong.

Noah turned and looked her into the eyes.

"About what?"

Addison gave him a stern look.

"You know exactly what I mean."

Noah exhaled sharply.

"Addison there's nothing to talk about."

Addison sat up and stiffened.

"You're married. Your wife is having a baby. What we do here is adultery. Noah. Nothing else."

"What do you want from me, Addison?"

"I...I don't know."

Addison threw her hands in the air.

"I broke up with her. I told her I want a divorce."

"I know."

Addison's voice sounded desperate, her face showing that she was holding back tears.

"I just want a normal relationship, Noah. But that's never possible. It should never have gotten this far between us."

Noah took her hands into his.

"Addison, we can have all of this. I'm glad I have met you and I'm glad it has gotten this far. I love you. I want to be with you. We just have to wait a little longer. Everything will be alright."

Addison swallowed and nodded. Her thumb was caressing Noah's palm.

"Okay. I can wait a little longer."

Noah took her into his arms.

"We will be together."

They stayed like this for a little while and watched the sunset. The horizon turned orange first then coloring the water with it. When the sun was gone, the sky turned into a deep pink and predicted another wonderful day.

After a while Noah felt Addison shiver slightly in his arms. He rubbed her arms with his hands.

"Come on. Let's go inside."

Addison nodded and Noah took her hand and helped her to get up from the chair.

He put his hand on the small of her back and let her inside.

XxX

Inside Addison sat down on the couch and Noah brought over a blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. He kissed her on the forehead and made his way across the living room to the kitchen to get some warm drinks when his cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

He took mug out of the cupboard.

"Morgan?"

Addison felt her heart beat against her ribcage. All the noises seemed so far away all of a sudden and her vision was clouded when she looked over to Noah.

A loud smash got her out of her daze. The mug had slipped out of Noah's grip and was now broken into pieces on the tile floor in her kitchen.

Addison stared at him. Noah's gaze was empty when he looked at the broken fragments, his arm with the cell slowly falling to his side.

"She's in labor."

Addison felt a shiver going down her spine and swallowed.

"Go."

Her voice was barely audible.

Noah just stared at her.

"I....I..."

"Go Noah, you will regret it for the rest of you life if you don't. It's the birth of you child."

Addison had to bring up all the strength she had to tell him to leave now.

Noah nodded and turned to the front door.

He looked back at Addison for a short time only to see her pulling the blanket tighter around her and hugging her knees.

He knew she was right. But the pain in her eyes almost made him turn around again and stay. Take her in his arms and never let her go again.


	5. Chapter 5

I haven't forgotten about this fic, it's just that I was so busy with work and that my muse left me for some time. So here's the next chapter. Hope you like it even though it's not very long. Enjoy and please review ;)

* * *

After half an hour of sitting on the couch Addison got up and took the phone.

She dialed and heard three free signs until the other line was answered.

"Nae? I need you."

XxX

Noah stood behind the glass window and looked into the room where his new born daughter was lying along with all the other babies. She was perfectly healthy and the most adorable thing he had ever seen. Mona Barnes. Morgan insisted for their child to have his surname. He was a dad now and with it came a huge change in his life and a lot of responsibility. He sat down across the wall on one of the chairs and let his head fall into his hands. What was he supposed to do now?

XxX

When Naomi entered the house she found Addison curled into a ball in the couch. Her eyes were red from crying and she could see beads of perspiration glisten on Addison's forehead. Naomi rushed over to the couch.

"Addie are you alright?"

Addison turned around and looked at her.

"Morgan is having the baby right now."

"Oh Addie."

"What if he's going back to her?"

Naomi took a deep breath. She wasn't a big fan of Noah but Addie was her best friend and she loved him. So Naomi would have to find a way to deal with it.

"I don't think he will, Addie. He's in love with you. Everyone can see that."

Addison nodded.

"I hope you're right."

Addison was breathing heavily and Naomi glanced at her worriedly.

She took Addison's wrist and felt for her pulse. It was racing and Naomi also felt that Addison's skin was unnaturally hot.

"Addie?"

She asked, her hand moving to Addison's forehead.

"You're burning up."

"Huh?"

"Are you in any pain?"

"My incision is hurting a little."

Naomi rolled up Addison top and had a look under the bandage.

"Damn. It's infected."

Addison tried to sit up to have a look herself.

"Ouch." She flinched.

"I get you back to the hospital."

Naomi exclaimed and got her car keys before she helped Addison to stand up.

XxX

During the drive to the hospital Addison slipped in and out of consciousness. Her temperature sky rocked and Naomi pushed the accelerator through to the ground of her car. Luckily the streets where almost empty at that time of the day.

When they arrived at the hospital Addison was put on a stretcher and hooked up with an IV of antibiotics. She was brought into a room and Naomi went behind to make sure her best friend was okay. After a while Addison's fever began to drop a little. A relieved Naomi walked out of the room to get a coffee when all of sudden she walked past Noah, who was still sitting on a chair across from the newborn station.

"Noah?"

She asked and walked toward him.

Noah lifted his head and looked at her with exhausted eyes.

"Hey."

Naomi handed him her coffee.

"Here, I guess you need that more than me."

He took it and frowned at her.

"You've been working on a case this late?"

Naomi's eyes widened in realization.

"Oh no. I....I brought Addison in."

Noah stood up in a rush, pouring the hot liquid all over his scrub pants.

"What?....Oh, shit."

He through the paper cup into the bin and tried to dry his pants with the hand.

"Wait, here you go."

Naomi handed him some paper towels.

"Thanks."

He took them and gave her a questioning look. The concern obvious in his eyes.

"What happened? Is she alright?"

Naomi gave him a relieved smile and gestured for Noah to sit down again.

"Addison is alright now. She got an infection and her temperature spiked. They immediately hooked her up with antibiotics and they worked pretty quickly."

Noah gave a relieved sigh.

"Thank God."

Naomi nodded over to the glass window.

"So, you're a dad now?"

Noah nodded and stared at his feed.

"You promised me not to hurt her, remember?" Naomi asked.

"I wont."

"But you have to make a decision now."

"I already made that decision a few days ago."

"Yeah, but that was before you had... . Naomi stopped for a moment and glanced at him.

"A daughter. I have a daughter. Mona."

"That was before you had a daughter. It's different now."

"I know."

"What do you wanna do?"

"I don't know."

"You should find out soon, Noah."

"I know, dammit."

He yelled and jumped up from the chair.

"You think I don't know that? Tell me, how can I choose between my daughter, my own flesh and blood and the woman I love, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with?"

Naomi shook her head.

"I don't know."

"Neither do I."

Noah's voice got low and Naomi could see the desperation in his eyes.

Noah kicked over the bin and left the corridor.

Naomi got up and walked over to the window. She looked inside and saw all the tiny newborns. She remembered when Maya was born. Never would she have left her alone. Her gaze wandered over the little beds and stopped at one in the right corner. The name tag read "Mona Louise Barnes". Naomi sighed. So this was his daughter. She was a beautiful baby, that Naomi had to admit.

Naomi turned around and leaned against the glass with her back. She exhaled sharply. She didn't know how Noah would decide, hell he didn't even know himself. But one thing she was certain about. When his decision left her best friend in pieces, she would be there to put her back together again.

She could just hope that she wouldn't have to do this job after all.

With this Naomi walked back to Addison's room.


	6. Chapter 6

Here's the next chapter. And I know a lot of people are still reading this, though you guys are really lazy when it comes to reviews lately LOL. I would really appreciate some more opinions on the story. So, review pretty please *makes puppy eyes*. I feel really good about this chapter. Might even be my best so far. Enjoy reading!

* * *

Noah was sitting on a bench in front of the hospital. His elbows propped on his knees and his head in his hands. This was so messed up.

He had checked on Addison on his way out but she was asleep. He had stood in front of her bed and just looked at her. She was beautiful and he always loved to watch her when she was asleep. She didn't know and it would probably creep her out but when he looked at her he felt at peace. His body relaxed and a warmth spread through every muscle. He felt like he needed her to stay alive, to breath and to function. He had never felt like this before and could only image that this was what true love felt like.

But the love for a child was something totally different. It was a love you couldn't deny. When he had entered the hospital he felt only anger for Morgan. She had destroyed his evening with Addison and he couldn't get the picture out of his head when he had left Addison in the living room. The hurt in her eyes and the fear in her words. But then he had looked at Mona for the first time and a smile had spread over his face. He couldn't control it. Holding his daughter was the most amazing thing he had ever felt. And he couldn't give this up.

This was a decision he wasn't able to make. Addison or Mona. The love of his life or his daughter.

XxX

Naomi was just about to enter Addison's room when her pager went off. It was a 911 and told her she was supposed to report at the nurses station on the maternity ward. Naomi frowned and took the elevator up.

"I got a 911 call?"

She asked the nurse sitting behind the counter.

"Oh, Dr. Bennett, yes. It's Morgan Gellman. She has internal bleedings, complications from the delivery. We need you to assist. Due to Dr. Montgomery being sick you're the next on the emergency list. Also because she was a patient in your practice."

Naomi swallowed. This was just perfect.

"Okay. I'm going to scrub in."

Naomi walked off to the OR wing where Morgan was already prepped for the emergency surgery.

At the same time Noah's pager went off in his locker where he had but his clothes before changing into his scrubs and going in to stand by Morgan during giving birth.

XxX

Addison awoke and found herself in a hospital bed again. She exhaled deeply and tried to remember what had happened. After a moment everything came back into her mind. Noah. Morgan. The baby. Naomi bringing her to the hospital.

She heard someone clear their throat and turned to the door from where the sound came. Noah stood there leaning against the door frame and gave her a weak smile.

"Hey."

He walked towards her slowly and brought the chair in the corner closer to her bed. He sat down and took her hand with an IV tube in it. He caressed her fingers with his thumb and stared at their hands unable to look up.

"I have a daughter."

He whispered.

Addison felt a lump forming in her throat. Her body went rigid with fear and she could barely breath. When Noah looked up into her eyes, Addison could feel a shock going through her bones. Her heart started to physically hurt and the heat that brought the tears to her eyes was rising in her chest.

Addison pulled her hand out of Noah's grasp.

"So you're choosing her?"

Noah gazed at her with watery eyes.

"She's the mother of my daughter. My child deserves to grow up in a family."

Addison nodded absentmindedly. She remembered Morgan's words in the ambulance. That this child was supposed to save their marriage. And now it happened exactly this way. Addison swallowed back tears.

"Please leave."

She whispered. The words unbelievably heavy on her lips.

"Addison."

Noah tried to take her hand again put she pulled it away.

"Just go. Please. "

Now she wasn't able to fight the tears anymore.

"Don't you understand that it hurts. You being here, so close. It hurts, Noah. It's torture. Please go."

Noah nodded. He understood those feelings better than she imagined.

He stood up and leaned over Addison. There was no way for her to escape now. He bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

Addison's body was shaking by sobs when he walked to the door and left the room without turning back.

XxX

When Noah stepped into the hallway a nurse came running towards him.

"Dr. Barnes! We have been looking for you everywhere. Why don't you answer your pager?"

Noah checked his scrub pants and only realized now that he didn't have his paper with him.

"I must have left in the locker room, sorry. What patient is it about?"

The nurse gave him a sympathetic look.

"It's your wife. We had to rush her into surgery half an hour ago."

Noah felt his heart beating rapidly. His palms starting to sweat.

"What happened? Everything was fine when I left her."

The nurse try to explain the situation to him while gesturing for them to move along the hallway in the direction of the OR wing.

"There where unpredictable complications. She started bleeding all of a sudden."

Noah took a deep breath.

"Is she stable now?"

The nurse looked onto the floor.

"I don't know. She's still in surgery. Dr. Thomas and Dr. Bennett are trying everything to stop the bleeding."

Noah swallowed. He felt uneasy with the thought of loosing Morgan. But it was a lighter feeling than the one he had felt a few days ago when he feared to loose Addison. This was wrong. Morgan was his wife. These feeling made him doubt his decision. Maybe there was no way that they could be a family. Maybe this was fate's way to show him.

When they turned around the corner and faced the doors to the OR, Naomi walked out and pulled off her scrub cap. She looked at Noah and shook her head.

Noah grabbed the wall. But the feelings that overwhelmed him where surprise and disbelieve. Why had he been tortured to make a decision and face the impossible when fate now decided to take this decision into it's own hands?

He looked at Naomi who stood close to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. We didn't had a chance to stop the bleeding, it was too intense."

He could only nod. Not able to speak or think. His wife was dead. His daughter would have to live without a mother. And they wouldn't be a family after all.

Noah walked along the hallway in a daze and ended up outside in front of the hospital on the same bench he had been sitting before. A few hours ago at this place his life had been a shipwreck, or so he had thought. But now....it was even more. The ship had sunk to the ground and would maybe never surface again.

Noah let his head fall into his hands and let the tears fall. All the emotions of this day overwhelming him. Addison's words from the day they spend in garden ringing in his ears. _You know,__it's so scary how one single day can change the rest of you life._

Naomi stood in front of the glass window and looked at the little girl who's mother had to give her life to bring her into the world.

Addison was lying in her hospital bed. The tears now only drying streams on her face.


End file.
